| (no subject) |
[Jul. 6th, 2007|01:19 am] |
| [ | music |
| | swing kids and/ or saves the day | ] |
you're a mute, you're a brick. you're without emotion. and sometimes i want to take that brick and leap into the ocean. sometimes i want to touch your lips, or break them wide open.
i'm coming apart at seams, yet somehow my head's on a lot straighter than it ever has been.
fuck, i'm growing up. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 25th, 2006|06:44 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | brand new- the devil and god are raging inside me | ] |
thanksgiving was mad word. report cards not so much. i need to get things together or i'm not going to graduate. hot topic is going ok. nothing interesting. I do love everyone though.
HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY JESSICA!!!!!11!!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 4th, 2006|02:25 am] |
everything is turning into a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy.
let me explain better. I just feel distant from everthing right now, in the best and worst ways. the only thing i have close to me is my friends.
i realized that i'm fucking graduating in a few months today. i'm fucking scared. i've always been the best at crashing and burning under pressure, and this is more than i've ever felt.
i don't know what to do with myself ever anymore.
thank god ms davis realizes this and let me stay after, and my grade for the quarter went up from 20% to 60%.
me and jesse are attemptimg to write, but with a lack of people and equipment problems, comes a lack of motivation.
i just realized that i'm fucking boring and no one cares.
i don't care. this is my fucking live journal.
jesse printed some pictures from the beginning of the year.
it's just crazy to think about my attitude towards the world back then.
i guess we're all changing, whether we want to or not.
i really hope i make it.
i guess i have to, or be homeless.
i don't see my friends letting that happen.
me and victoria need to go to dunkin donuts real soon, so i can try to not think so much about all of this. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 19th, 2006|11:12 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | these arms are snakes | ] |
i don't really know anymore
everything is going a little too fast for me. my little brother is really starting to develop a personality of his own. it's pretty wild. i held him when he was a few hours old, and now he knows how old he is. school is going horribly, but it's ok, i guess. i can hopefully get my grades up, and not be in trouble. oh well. i had a three day week this week, which takes some of the pressure off. my days as a weekend warrior are up, i'm tired if it to be completely honest, and i could use the break. oh well. pumpkins tommorrow!!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 12th, 2006|02:06 am] |
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things have been pretty busy lately. i like it. 3 days. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 4th, 2006|09:40 pm] |
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Growing up is becoming increasingly terrifying. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 2nd, 2006|11:23 pm] |
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i don't really know where my time is going, between facials and cookies, and all that good stuff, but my birthday is in a few weeks. yayyy. i love my friends, and miss the ones i don't see often enough. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 26th, 2006|09:59 pm] |
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today i came home and slept for like 6 hours. i miss naps. jesse and i went to fells point when i woke up. we pulled up to a red light and some homeless crack head lady was singing brandnew with us. kind of odd, but she knew the words. then we got to sond garden and i got ceremony for a dollar, which was pretty cool. then we left, and went to taco bell to visit amanda. i bugged jesse for money for a taco, and he gave it to me because he's a good friend. then she got off of work and i bugged her for a sign that she had that said "single?" then underneath is says "dundalksingles.com" i'm annoying, but no one seems to mind. old minus the bear seems to be stuck in my head. i need to go to school less sporadically. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 25th, 2006|09:36 pm] |
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bad mood continues into day two. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 24th, 2006|11:45 am] |
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My stomach is in knots, which is turning into a familliar feeling. Weekends are fun, and i feel sort of burned out. My mom says i look rough. I like the dark circles for some reason. Jesse says it's just rock and roll, but i didn't know rock and roll had a smell. If it really does, i'm there. I'm surrounded by some amazing people, which i am very thankful for. I don't see some people enough, but i'm hoping for that to change in the near future. Overall, nothing to complain about, but i need a shower and sleep. |
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| Somewhere out there, there's a thrill, i swear. |
[Sep. 17th, 2006|09:01 pm] |
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Action packed weekend, i love everything, and everyone, pretty much. It makes me happy that every one around me seems to be enjoying life so much. I start cooking at my job on Saturday, during the day, which is pretty cool. Still no internet back on, but oh well. I've got a life to live. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 14th, 2006|08:43 pm] |
my dad decided to turn the internet off for a little while, partially because he hates technology, and partially because my brother is fucking up. I don't miss it as much as i thought i might. In other news, i can't stop istening to Circle Takes The Square, and i don't mind it to much. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 12th, 2006|03:58 pm] |
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As cheesy as it sounds, i realized that i have to be the luckiest person ever, even though sometimes i wake up with penises drawn on my chest that say "PENUS". yeah, don't ask. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 11th, 2006|04:51 pm] |
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my dad goes back to work next week, for the first time in 6 years of being disabled, and i'm scared horrible at thsi :/ I guess i better hang out wit him as much as possible, because i'm not going to be seeing him too much, ugh. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 10th, 2006|12:44 pm] |
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someone tell me what it means when you have a dream that you're cutting your own hair, please? |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 9th, 2006|11:27 pm] |
I already feel overwhelmed at school. That's no fun. I'm doing bad at sleep again, and that might explain it. I'm doing bad with communicating with people, and with talking to them at all, as well. I feel sick. I need a new job, because I feel stuck where i am. I'm always stuck. Good things are happening though. Converge was amazing on Wednesday. It was great to finally see them, even if it was at a shitty venue. I think Jesse said it best. "when i go to see Converge, i want shitty urinals with writing all over them. There's a dude in that bathroom trying to wash my hands, expecting a tip" That might explain why the tickets were 20 dollars. Warrens birthday show was pretty sweet too. I handed out fliers for Plague of Shadows. I'm good at getting those sorts of things done, partially because i'm pretty obnoxious. This is going to be a busy week. Pat and I had a pretty good philosophical conversation a couple of days ago.I think we both realized a lot about a lot of things. I don't even know why i update this thing sometimes. I wouldn't read it. |
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| cursive - sink to the beat. |
[Sep. 3rd, 2006|03:03 am] |
the smiths came on at work today, it was rad. Last night was wild, but then again my life is usually. Victoria woke me up with a phone call a little while ago. Usually i'd be mad at that sort of thing, but it was nice. Thank god i don't have work tomorrow. School is going pretty good. I hope it stays that way. I like this line alot:
"Bookmark this page, because this is where things fall apart.
Remember these days, because this is how downward spirals start."
I feel like that alot of the time. Sometimes i'm luckier. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 30th, 2006|12:18 pm] |
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i'm getting tired of having my heart yanked at, and my balls being turned into puree. |
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| obligatory summer blog. |
[Aug. 27th, 2006|04:49 pm] |
Rather than post some convoluted end of summer blog, i just want to say to every one of my friends, i love you more than you could ever know. I wish i could hug every one of you untill you believed me. I've learned alot this summer, mostly through late night walks to Dunk'n Donuts,pool parties, all of the conversations that we've had, and from all of the time that we shared together. Honestly, at the beginning of the summer, it seemed a little lame. But i can say that this is the first time i have ever actually been satisfied with the way it has all turned out. I really wouldn't trade all of the memories that i've gained for anything. I hope you all feel the same way, and i'm going to miss these warm nights and all of the time we spent especially. Maybe i didn't acheive everytihnt i set out to this year, but if i've learned one thing, it's that "life is about the process and not the resolve". I don't think i've ever heard words that were more true. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 22nd, 2006|01:17 am] |
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today (a chronological explaination): bored, schedule, computer, figuring out what happened saturday, ruby tuesdays, new hair. thank you, victoria. |
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